thought i’d left this little piece of burpsworld.  no so long, farewell, auf wiedersen, adieu.  to yerr or yerr or yerr or yerr or yerr.  alas.  here i am.  saying hallo, guten tag and top of the morning.  so it’s saturday night.  ten fourteen.  and i’m at home.  the boy’s in bed.  dreamfeed due in fifteen minutes.  i feel cosy.  the heater’s on downstairs and we’re all donned in knitted garments.  it’s blowin’ a gale outside and our poor lettuce seedlings are flat.  the cats are stocking up on science diet like it’s going out of fashion and developing paunches to prove it.  got chicken stuck in my teeth.

so it’s over 24 hours since the great outpour, and i’m still here, no contractions, leaks, anything… have been doing a bit of the googlé research and apparently, in the States, if there’s no sign of baby at this stage, then they perform an induction. rang hospital this morning and was told not to come in because they were too busy (ooh, public health, how i love thee) and to wait till after lunch (to have another CTG trace). apparently they won’t induce until three days post-rupture… which means that i’ve got till tomorrow morning to bring it on naturally.

the one thing i don’t get, right, is that i’m so damn calm about it all! perhaps it’s cos i’ve got a timeframe now. at least i can pretty confidently say i’ll either be in agony or ecstasy this time tomorrow, no matter what happens. that’s a nice thought.

x.

okay, maybe not everywhere. but i did wake up in a puddle, and, strangely enough, my cat was asleep on my hip (which never, ever happens)… it’s realllly early for a Saturday, and i feel a bit silly for getting so excited and hopping out of bed to write in my blog while Marty’s still fast asleep, but you know.

anyway, when i popped up, the stuff started gushing down my leg, but then stopped after a few seconds (is this too much information, perhaps?)… i wonder what that means and if i can safely say that the beetle will arrive today? oooh, wow. i could be a mummy tonight!

x.

it’s amazing how focused one can be on something.
wish i had this level of concentration during art history classes.

tonight testing out Jake’s (Naked Cyclist on Flickr) apparently no-fail recipe for ‘labour-triggering ricotta and spinach tortellini’. worked both times for his wife (she was sat in a puddle after, on both occasions!).

here’s a quality verse i penned during a brief moment of clarity and genius several years ago (blog-filler):

my feet really smell
not like flowers
not like a burnt cake
like dog shit that has manifested
into mutancy
capable of wiping out the
entire human race

i like the thought of being that powerful

my wit astounds me at times.
move over Poe.

x.

it’s a bit early in the day to be writing, but i couldn’t help myself after checking email.

so. let me vex my frustration and detail what i was bombarded with upon opening inbox:

message from babycenter.com.au
(let me interrupt, firstly, to say that if you’re gonna pop .au at the end of your site address, you might as well spell ‘center’ the .au way.)
: Congratulations, your baby is here! Sometimes newborns don’t look like how we imagined they would, but you can read more about their appearance to reassure yourself. And then try to get some rest!

balloons and streamers float down from the ceiling and sirens going off everywhere.

That was the smoothest labour ever. took me three minutes.

oh well. all i can think to do now is peep.

x.

oooh. sleepy. why i’m attempting to pen anything slightly sensical in current state, i don’t know. it’s only really cos Greer roused on me for not blogging for ages.

so!

can’t believe the little one’s due tomorrow. golly. isn’t that just wild? to think that my life is about to change in a major, major way for a long, long time in what could be only 6 hours away? hurts the head.

in the event that Beetle does arrive when s/he’s scheduled to (which, in all honesty, is highly unlikely, considering its Mummy is the most disorganised, fashionably late, slovenly, etc woman known to man), i’m devising a list of things that i may only have 6 hours left to do for a long, long time due to my life changing in a major, major way:

1. get coked to the eyeballs and spout rubbish at anyone in the vicinity
2. party like it’s 1999
3. announce that i’m a free soul with absolutely no ties and could leave on a world trip if i wanted to
4. sleep

ah. sleep.

x.

Oh. For. Fuck’s. Sake.

The head’s still wiggling around! apparently 2/5s engaged. same as last week. really. I can officially remove ‘patient’ from my list of virtues. Mad, mad pants.

Spoke to brother Dan yesterday; he’s incredibly smitten. Little Jaxen (which i thought was Jackson until being corrected very recently) came along at 34 weeks, so his eyes are still really sensitive to light and he’ll be in the hospital nursery until at least Feb 25… i can only imagine how difficult it would be. to have to leave your most precious love and go home. But Dan and Jen are amazingly positive about the whole situation, knowing that ultimately it’s the best thing for the wee one. bless

Listening to lots of Joni Mitchell atm. fills me with whimsy. i love it.

All the people at this party
Theyve got a lot of style
Theyve got stamps of many countries
Theyve got passport smiles
Some are friendly
Some are cutting
Some are watching it from the wings
Some are standing in the centre
Giving to get something

I wish I had more sense of humour
Keeping the sadness at bay
Throwing the lightness on these things
Laughing it all away
Laughing it all away
Laughing it all away

x.

okay. good sign. made it to the second post. inspired by the wonderfully prolific Little Nut Tree…

gettin’ tired. Usually hop out of bed as Marty’s leaving for work (about half eight), but this morning fell back asleep until half ten (despite having gone to lalaland at eight last night).

now it’s eleven, and the weather’s grand. slight breeze, unblinding sun, ahhhhhhhh. can’t beat a seachange

haven’t been doing too much in the way of cleaning the last few days; yesterday decided to make the ‘messy underneath of bed’ into ‘clean underneath of bed’, but only succeeded in pulling everything out, finding a dead lizard that the kitten had transported in from the outside (bless you, little Milk. but no more please) and playing with a few little plastic animals i found. but today. today is the day! annual day of tidy nest!

becoming increasingly anti-social, which i’m assured is all part and parcel of baby carrying, but it’s slightly depressing. and strange. because i’m not really missing anybody, really. though i am feeling bad for not returning messages. anyway. hopefully i’ll be back into social butterfly mode again soon and people will be begging me to leave them alone!

peep peep.

x.

(Cheers, Greer, for sending me here - p.s. it’s a weird name in Oz too, but only as weird as Phoebe.)

this is my third attempt at a little blog. let’s see how we go…